In the spirit of John Waters, I rushed off after Shabbat to the local Morton Williams to pick up an extra cheap supply of Thanksgiving fixings: cranberry sauce, stuffing, and margarine. The turkey was leftover from Marilyn’s, but the good stuff always comes out of a box and a can. I personally prepared, cooked and reheated the whole damn mess in under 7 minutes. I’m that good. Sorry, Mom, but you know the consensus by us about canned cranberry sauce, especially in regard to the importance of maintaining those ridge lines on the goop. Also, everyone, and I mean everyone, agreed that my stuffing was better. After all that sodium, my heartbeat is racing like a thoroughbred going through its paces.